Unchain Your Brain

Katy Beers, The Cleveland, Ohio three, and Elizabeth Fritzl have one thing in common.  They were all locked away in basements or dungeons for a long period of time, physically, emotionally, and sexually abused.  They were held hostage by sick individuals with a twisted agenda.

It also makes me think about people around us who are not bound by physical ropes or chains in basements but who are bound by limiting beliefs.  Beliefs that keep them chained to untruths about their world or ideas they have about themselves.  Limiting ideas that can cripple or even destroy a person.  I know it sounds dramatic but the wrong thought definitely can imprison a person and doom them to a life of lack luster dissatisfaction.  Especially when we see how we are being hauled and pulled by society’s ills.

I had a particularly challenging day with my students last week.  I spent practically the whole weekend trying to figure out what went wrong.  While I was doing that I missed an invitation to a museum outing, dinner with some friends, a playful tumble with my cat, or inviting some friends over for movie night.  If I had found a nourishing distraction, my weekend would have been more relaxing and I would have felt more energized by Monday.

 My mind really was not ready for that kind of “self-reflection.”  Sometimes you have to let go of that process and put boundaries around your psyche.  Self-reflection is ok when you are in an open frame of mind.  When you can see the whole picture as it really is and not when your inner vision is poor.  

So next time I/you have a challenging day, don’t give in to it.  Get a nourishing distraction and live in the moment.  When you are in a more relaxed frame of mind you can tackle the problem….objectively.  Protect your psyche at all costs.  Many people depend on you.  Love yourself unconditionally.  See it for what it is, learn from it and move on.  Life is too short.  You have people to see and love to give and fun to have.  Many times you will find that the problem was not with you but some other extenuating circumstance that you could not control.  Or everybody knew there was a problem from the beginning, everybody but you.

 

So unchain your brain from the negative voices that tell you woulda, shoulda, coulda.  You are a competent and strong child of God.  Always surround yourself with people who support who you are and remember that you are the creator of your universe.  You control who is in your world, what behaviors you will deal with, and how far and fast you want to move.  Move around with love, faith, and confidence.                                                                

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What We Can Learn From The NFL Bullying Case

 

Watching the NFL bullying case is quiet puzzling.  This issue has been in the public eye for over a week and we still do not know exactly what happened.  Everybody knows what bulling is.    Even if you make a mean face at a toddler they will feel…..bullied.

 It does not matter if the bully is bigger than the victim, smaller than the victim, another race, religion, culture or of another socioeconomic class.  It is still bad in the eyes of the public.   What I find most interesting is that now the NFL is trying to distance itself from the situation.  They have turned to blame the victim.  They are saying if the victim felt threatened he should have stopped the unwanted behaviors.  I guess we can say the same thing to our children.  If you are being bullied, you can do something to stop it.  Remember, the children are watching how we handle situations.  Some people forget that bullying is wrong and society should not tolerate it at any level.  I see some people think that locker room behavior is there to toughen up the athlete.  The toughen-up advice is a cop out for an organization or a parent who does not want to take responsibility for the bully’s behavior.  That is the wrong message to send to  children who are watching the adults behaving badly.   

We also know that someone who exposes bullying can experience backlash from their coming forward.  On the playground the child can become a target for sneak attacks or isolation.  In the workplace it is no different.  A police officer who reports unprofessional behavior can be given the worst or most dangerous beat with no backup.  A teacher can be given a class with severe problems and receive no support from administration.  A nurse can be given a multitude of gravely ill patients, compromising patient care.  The list can go on.  From children to adults can be bullied in many ways.  So far we really don’t know exactly what happened with these two football players.  The details are still foggy.  The ways they, the NFL, are acting, it seems like they have something to hide.  Everybody against the victim makes people suspicious.  Any kind of hazing should not be condoned. Sport’s is a business. It should be look upon and treated as such.  The NFL or any organization should always seek to be professional.  Treat everybody with respect and dignity. Do not tolerate bad behavior and people will not be as willing to behave disrespectfully.  All we can do is watch the situation and hope they work it out quickly.  They have to remember that the children are watching, observing, and learning how the adult world works. 

 

Let’s Hear it for Building Traditions

 

When I was a child we would bake cookies with my mom.  Sometimes we would bake for the holidays, or sometimes just to give us something to do.  We would be so excited as my mom pulled out the baking utensils and ingredients. My sibling and I would start talking about our specific creations.  What would make our cookies different from any other cookie.  Mom was always so organized.   We loved helping out.  She baked from scratch.  I did not know what a treat that was.  She would call us together and each sibling would be assigned a task.  No task was too big or small.  Mom would have a multitude of “baking extras” around so we could be creative.   Sprinkles of different colors and textures, butterscotch or chocolate ships, vanilla, oatmeal, different color raisins, different kinds of nuts, marsh mellows, chopped up fruit, candies you can put in the cookies – all kinds of things.  In the end we could decorate the cookies according to our tastes.  We talked about our creations and if there was anything on our minds, we talked about it then.  Sometimes, the cookies came out funny looking but they always tasted good.  In the end I did not know what was really happening.  We were building traditions.  My brothers and sisters remember these times fondly.  It had a profound effect on us.  It still gives all of us joy to think of those times.  So, next time you have a few minutes do something and start a tradition.  It will keep you together and last forever.