Moms and Dads - Ain't Misbehavin

Today I witnessed something interesting.  Usually when a child is misbehaving, you will see the parents trying to address the situation in a manner that they hope will minimize the situation.  Sometimes the child gets embarassed and sometimes the parent gets embarassed.  Today I saw a parent out of control and the child embarassed.  A woman was coming to the park to pick up her daughters.  An older sibling was already there and they were waiting for their mother.  The mother came into the park yelling and screaming at a passing car.  They got into a yellling match on the highway and brought it to the park.  When the children saw their mother screaming, they became scared - even the older ones.  They raced over to their mom.  The mom apologized to all the other moms in the park and explained the situation.  Everybody was quite.  The kids were scared and admitted it out loud to each other.  You can tell they were also very embarassed. 

Sometimes unforseen circumstances present itself and we react in an undignified way.  Ok, it happens to all of us.  Unfortunately, sometimes the kids have to witness this.  I guess we have to learn to let somethings go so as not to embarass or scare our loved ones.  Mothers, Dads, next time a stranger acts like a jerk and the kids are near.....try to ignore it.  It can show the kids that it is not always wise to react to someone who is unreasonable or out of control.  The kids can see that there is another way to respond to an unkind or thoughtless act.  Being reactive can get us in a lot of trouble. 

Have You Checked The Children?

One evening I came home and found a group of boys in a group talking quietly and smoking pot.  They were 13-15 years of age.  It was 10:30 at night.  I wondered,  “ where are these parents?”  “Aren’t they  worried about their children?”  When I went upstairs I heard two rounds of gunfire.  The gunfire was powerful and I wondered if the parents thought about where their sons are.  Maybe the parents did not even hear the gunfire.  I hoped the kids were ok but I also thought about why these youngsters were out so late unsupervised and smoking pot in the open courtyard without a care in the world.     

Another evening I saw a very large group of boys and girls, again preteens, smoking pot.  This was a boisterous group.  All I could literally see is a pot filled haze of young people tumbling all over each other and smoking pot.  Some of the boys and girls were hanging all over each other.  Some of the girls were sitting in the boys lap and the boys were rubbing their thighs – preteen kids!  If mom came downstairs and saw this what would be her reaction?  This took me back to a news story I saw about an 11 year old that was fatally shot in a basketball court at 4am.  His mother was, of course, crying.  I wondered how she could let her child stay out so late. 

I am a teacher.  My preteen students come to school tired often enough.  When I ask them why, they say they were “hanging out.”  They admit they are out until 3 or 4 am.  If you really love and care about your child, why are they out until 4am?  What can happen to anyone who is constantly on the street until the wee hours of the morning?  How can your child function in school with so little sleep?  I have found that the children who stay out late and are unsupervised are the students who have the most academic problems.  Who is raising your child?  Being a parent is the most important job I know.  Children do not come with instruction manuals.  One false move and your child can be gone forever.  This is the case no matter what kind of parent you are. No matter how intelligent, what kind of judgement can an inexperienced unsupervised preteen have?  So why increase the odds of endangering your child by letting the streets raise him/her? 

Children need structure, love, and a strong foundation.  They will not get that in the street.  Who will protect your child from the elements in the street.  Nobody will protect or care for your child better than you can.  Being a parent is not a right but a privilege.  Children are not mini adults.  They need to be nurtured, protected, and guided.   I have seen, first hand, how these kids try to make their way in the world.  A world where they are exposed to dangerous adult situations and they have to make decisions based on their limited knowledge of the world.  Unfortunately they are not equipped mentally or emotionally to make a sound decision and they have no adult to help them.  So they make it with their limited knowledge of how the world works.  Then they have to pay a penalty.  These students risk the chance of being caught in the clutches of a predator.  This predator prey’s on a child who is hungry to do what is right but gets caught up with the wrong person who will lead them to a path of despair.

 Others are fortunate enough to find someone who is willing to take the time to help them.  They are the lucky ones.  I have seen these students.  They are hungry to find an adult who will help them navigate life’s tricky waters. Funny, I have seen even “half baked” adults step in and try to help.  A child knows when an adult is sincere.  They will follow this adult because they know at least this person cares about them.  That will go a long way in a child’s life.  An adult with a good heart but not enough life experience is better than nobody.  But, personally, I think the parent is the best person for the job.  Do you know where your kids are?  Your answer should be yes, of course.  These thought are just the first of many to come.  I think this is an important issue we should all get behind.

 

 

Mothers Day

There are not enough words to express what Mothers Day means for many  people.  I think of my mother.  I have been watching her closely for as long as I can remember.  Watching her every move and facial expression.  I dont think moms realize how closely we watch them. I remember seeing her happy for me, angry at me and the worst of all dissapointed in me.  I always watched how hard she worked and how she never complained.  My mother is in a nursing home now and I miss her more than ever.  She used to love to hear my silly stories about my day or some trouble a friend was  having.  We laughed a lot.  Our favorite passtime was shopping.  We could shop til the cows came home. 

We used to talk about all the things we were going to do and guess what?  Time ran out!!!  We did travel quite a bit and go to shows, exhibitions, lectures and fairs.  Funny, I can still think of a thousand things we promised to do and did not.  I found out two years ago she always wanted to go to New Orleans.  I did not know that.  I wish I did.  The moral of this story is to look at your mom, really look at her and ask what is in her heart of hearts.   If I could do it over again I would have traveled with my mom on at least two over the top trips.  One would be you-know-where and the other place we would pick together.  It would be some place that would take us out of our comfort zones for sure.  Remember to stay in the moment with mom and enjoy every moment.

I love you mom and thanks so much for everything.

Happy New Year!

It is hard to keep up with friends these days.  One thing I do every once in a while is go through my phone book and look up the people I have not spoken to in a while. I will give them an email or a call.  They are usually surprised and happy to hear from me.  Emails usually turn into calls.  It’s great to catch up.  I do this a couple times a year.  A few days before New Years is usually a good time.  People are feeling good and festive.  They are thinking about what the New Year will bring. 

                Sometimes we tell ourselves we will talk to someone later.  Later becomes later and later until it is too late period.  I have had this happen to me several times already.  So now I take this ritual seriously.  You may find a friend is facing a serious challenge, a joyous occasion, or just needs a little mental boost.  Your call/email can make all of the difference.  This is a great time of year to mend fences.  I’m not going to be long winded about this.  Just take a chance, reach out and let someone know you are thinking about them.   It will go a long way.

Happy New Year!

 

Sigrid

Take Time To Smell The Roses …. Visit A Friend

 

                As we all know it is easy to get caught up in the anxieties of life.  Between work and family responsibilities we can get distracted and forget about what is really important.  Work is important because that is how we pay our bills.  It is also a place where we interact with the rest of the world.  It’s a great opportunity to learn about the world outside of our own personal familial experiences.  Interacting with people who are different from you is a great way to grow.  Your work world can teach you about cultures or causes that you would not be exposed to in your own neighborhood.  Last but not least it’s a great way to learn additional skills that will help you in your future to move ahead, personally and professionally. 

                Taking care of family is another part of our daily activities.  Whether you are taking care of your children, adult parents, or other relatives it can leave you tired.  We love our family members but it can be a strain to keep moving without letup.  Not giving yourself a chance to “stop and smell the roses” or a least a time to catch ones breadth.   

                Taking time to regenerate is a part of the spiritual and emotional growth cycle.  We are not built to keep going until we break down.  This system keeps telling us that we should be multitasking, work towards being “perfect,” working overtime, drink energy drinks to stay on top of everything and spend less time with family because of workplace demands.  I do not see any messages from society telling us to slow down and regenerate.  Technology is moving faster and faster and even the children must have the latest gadgets.  Now we can just text each other.  Texting allows us to communicate without the warmth face to face offers and miss certain nuisances that enhance the communication process. I’m definitely not saying texting is a bad thing.  I just see that it is taking the place of so much of our communication today.  

                One week in particular I was overwhelmed.  Everything that could go wrong did.  After a while, I did not want to deal with any of these challenges.  I wanted a break.  One night, I called a friend or two and was distracted for a minute or two but it did not help.  It was late on a Sunday night and another friend of mine also had challenges.  We talked on the phone for a while and she invited me over.  I thought “go anywhere on a Sunday night, what the heck.”  I went to her house with another friend and we had a wonderful time.  We had tea, talked about ourselves, what we were doing (outside of our challenges), we shared family memories and funny antidotes about life.  We laughed a lot and talked about projects we were anxious to try.  When we left her house that night, we all became closer as friends and started to think twice about our heartfelt projects. 

                When I went home my challenges seemed more manageable.  I think sometimes you have to step back and take a deep breath AKA smell the roses. I believe a relaxed mind is a creative one.  After that night I realized that I have to plan my “smell the roses” moments often.  It can be anything.  Sometimes, just get out of the house and expose yourself to a more pleasurable experience.  It can be the movies, the theatre, ice skating, tea time, cooking and dinner at a friend’s house, an impromptu pizza party,  or movie night at home with friends.  It does not have to cost anything – just downtime.  This will help you stay focused and see your challenges more clearly and more manageable.  It will also help you find creative solutions to your issues.  It will also give you a great personal life with family, friends and yourself.  Let’s face, it balance is one of the things that makes life worth living.

 

We Get Caught Up

As competent women, we try to stay on top of things.  In our quest to stay organized we “get caught up.”  This can cause us to losing sight of the things that are important to us.  In this case, I mean spending time with the people that are important to us. 

Over the last few years I have found my friends busier than ever before.  Some are going back to school, changing jobs or careers, accepting new responsibilities at work, or helping a friend in need.   We are now into the 21^st century and the changes are coming faster than we can plan around them.  We have our technological devices that keep us on track.  But, are they really keeping us on track?  Or are they allowing more distractions to come between family bonding time.  For instance, in the past if we had to work late, we worked late.  We came home to families and that would be the end of the day.  If the boss called us into the office on an off time we came, did our job, and went home.  Now the boss can and will call you at anytime because we have cell phones.  While cell phones are extremely convenient, now it makes us totally accessible.  People walking around with our Bluetooth literally attached to us. Eyes glued to portable devices not even looking where we are going.  Technology affords us these opportunities.    These days, I notice people working around the clock.  A few years ago, I only saw crowds on the train at rush hour.  Now, anytime of the day or night I can expect crowded trains.   

 The children are also pretty busy.  I see little ones up with their parents commuting to school.  Because mom and dad are working longer hours, the children are out of the house for long hours.  They have soccer practice, tutoring, after school jobs, or spending time with the babysitter.  People are also living father apart.  In the past, various family members lived relatively close to each other.  Now family members live across the country from each other.  Sometimes even on a different continent.  In the whole grand scheme of things there is nothing wrong with moving to another state or another country.  We will miss our family but it is a great experience to live outside your comfort zone. We learn more about others and how resilient we can be.  I think it makes the world a more intimate place.  Children having responsibilities or interacting with friends can help them become more independent and help them learn how to get along with others.  It can also help them become more responsible with their time management skills.  Having a demanding schedule can help a family learn how to appreciate the time they have with each other.  But we have to make the time to spend with those we love.  Life is short and unpredictable.  One minute we are here and the next minute we are not.

 When I think of my brother and find myself missing him, he died a few years ago, I think of all the time I spent with him.  It was never enough.  I think of the fights and the times we laughed.  We did laugh a lot.  He was older and opened up my mind to ideas I never would have pursued if it were not for him.   Time cannot be retrieved once it’s gone.  Whether you have a child, parent, aunt, grandparent the time spent with that loved one will never be enough.  Because of this, I think it is important to be very present when spending time with your loved one.  Your mind should not be divided between work, school, and your loved one.  My brother was on a mission and I kept asking him to visit so he could disconnect from his mission and visit for a moment.  I kept telling myself “when he comes this Fall I will say this, and we will do that.” He died that summer.  So much left unsaid between us.  So much beauty not shared.  And guess what, after he died his mission was taken on by someone else.  The work will always be done.  They will find someone else to do it.  So don’t let anything stop you from spending time with a loved one.  Do not stay caught up.  Mothers, disconnect from the technology and connect with those who want and need you.  Make all of your memories count.  No matter what you may think, time is not on your side. 

Maya 2012 Exhibition at the Museum of Archeology and Anthropology

I had the privilege to witness the opening of the exhibition of “MAYA 2012 Lords OF TIME” on May 5, 2012 at the museum of Archaeology and Anthropology http://www.penn.museum  located in the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

150 objects including never before seen artifacts recently excavated from Copan Honduras by Pennsylvania museums archaeologist were put on display.  President Porfirio Lobo of Honduras and his wife were present for the opening ceremony, the Honduran and American national anthem was sung before the ribbon cutting.  Visitors can explore the history and culture through the ancient artifacts which are on loan only from The Instituto Hondureno de Anthropologia e Historia.  This magnificent exhibition will be on display through January 13, 2013.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know you will enjoy  this exhibit as much as I did.

 

Sigrid