What You Owe Your Children

I do not have kids of my own.  For many years I have observed relationships between parents and children.  From toddlers to older adults.  When the kids are kids the parents are in charge.  When the parents become elderly the “kids” are in charge.  This relationship is a dynamic filled with many ups, downs, curves and scary suprises.  I have seen and heard it all.  But there is one dynamic I have become aware of years ago but now take center stage in the lives of many women.  What do we owe our kids?  I would like to address one issue.  I feel very strongly one thing parents owe our children is the gift of happiness. 

I don’t know if kids come to the world blank slate or with pre-encoded personality traits but I don’t know.  Parents are the first role models a child has.  They learn almost everything from mom and dads interaction with the world and each other.   What do they learn about the world?  Is it a dangerous place?  A nurturing and trusting place?  How far are my boundaries?  Who should I love?  What are my spiritual values? Can I get what I want?  Do I deserve what I want? 

Everybody says you owe your children love and that is absolutely true but I would like to  stretch that thought a little further.  Mom and dad, love of self is extremely important.  Show them how to have self love by you showing self love.   I am not a psychologist but I have observed some fascinating things about kids by watching them with their parents.  Parents who are happy and peruse happiness are more likely to have happy children.  Create happy and fulfilling memories with your children.  Your children are learning from you how to make sense and create their lives by watching you.  If you show that life is a constant arduous journey filled with suffering, then that is the way they will live.  If you show them that life is a fascinating journey filled with challenges that they can overcome and enjoy, they will meet challenges with hope and not fear.  If you teach your child to surround themselves with loving supportive people who will nourish them, they will choose that decision and find support when they need it.  Teach your child they deserve love and they will find it.  Teach your child to create their world and they will.  If you cope with problems with a bad attitude, so will your child.  That will make opportunities flee from them.  Parents, when you leave the planet make sure your children remember the great things you taught them and how to get the best out of life.  Love yourself and your child will grow into a happy and satisfied adult.

Sigrid Channer