Compatibility, One Hallmark of a Great Relationship

I am not a relationship expert, but I do know that compatibility is an important part of a great relationship.  I am constantly hearing people talking about the state of their relationships.  Some are secure and some not so secure.  As I listen to these conversations I think of many antidotes and questions but one thing I know for sure, compatibility is a key factor in any relationship.  Right now I am talking about a romantic relationship.  When two people decide to come together and build a life together they have to about wonder many things.   Why do I want to build a life with this person?  Is it love or is it some kind of obligation?  Do we have the same goals and values? One may want a one night stand and one may want a life’s partner. 

I have two specific friends in mind.  When I asked what brought them together I got the same answer “he/she was nice.”   After a brief and sweet courtship, they married.  Shortly after, reality set in.  It turns out the people were very nice but not compatible.  They did not agree on family planning issues, how to raise the children, financial goals, cultural differences and religion.  Does he/she have a temper?  How does he/she handle stress?  Do they get along with family members?  These are some of the issues that will come up soon. 

Both marriages were in trouble almost after the wedding.  I think if both couples dated a little longer some of the issues would have presented themselves.  It is best to see your future partner in as many scenarios as possible, so you can know what to expect.  You must discuss everything and be honest with your partner.  Experiencing life together, during the dating phase, is also the best way to determine if you are compatible.   Compromise is key but sometimes two people are so different that a compromise is not possible.  Also, if you find that the person is not right for you, reality must help you realize that it is time to split up. 

These are some of the issue we must consider when thinking about a relationship with another person.  There are many more but as I listen to people talking about their relationships, these are the issues that eventually come up.  So next time you meet a perspective mate - think before you leap.

Sigrid Channer