Unchain Your Brain

Katy Beers, The Cleveland, Ohio three, and Elizabeth Fritzl have one thing in common.  They were all locked away in basements or dungeons for a long period of time, physically, emotionally, and sexually abused.  They were held hostage by sick individuals with a twisted agenda.

It also makes me think about people around us who are not bound by physical ropes or chains in basements but who are bound by limiting beliefs.  Beliefs that keep them chained to untruths about their world or ideas they have about themselves.  Limiting ideas that can cripple or even destroy a person.  I know it sounds dramatic but the wrong thought definitely can imprison a person and doom them to a life of lack luster dissatisfaction.  Especially when we see how we are being hauled and pulled by society’s ills.

I had a particularly challenging day with my students last week.  I spent practically the whole weekend trying to figure out what went wrong.  While I was doing that I missed an invitation to a museum outing, dinner with some friends, a playful tumble with my cat, or inviting some friends over for movie night.  If I had found a nourishing distraction, my weekend would have been more relaxing and I would have felt more energized by Monday.

 My mind really was not ready for that kind of “self-reflection.”  Sometimes you have to let go of that process and put boundaries around your psyche.  Self-reflection is ok when you are in an open frame of mind.  When you can see the whole picture as it really is and not when your inner vision is poor.  

So next time I/you have a challenging day, don’t give in to it.  Get a nourishing distraction and live in the moment.  When you are in a more relaxed frame of mind you can tackle the problem….objectively.  Protect your psyche at all costs.  Many people depend on you.  Love yourself unconditionally.  See it for what it is, learn from it and move on.  Life is too short.  You have people to see and love to give and fun to have.  Many times you will find that the problem was not with you but some other extenuating circumstance that you could not control.  Or everybody knew there was a problem from the beginning, everybody but you.

 

So unchain your brain from the negative voices that tell you woulda, shoulda, coulda.  You are a competent and strong child of God.  Always surround yourself with people who support who you are and remember that you are the creator of your universe.  You control who is in your world, what behaviors you will deal with, and how far and fast you want to move.  Move around with love, faith, and confidence.                                                                

sigrid

What We Can Learn From The NFL Bullying Case

 

Watching the NFL bullying case is quiet puzzling.  This issue has been in the public eye for over a week and we still do not know exactly what happened.  Everybody knows what bulling is.    Even if you make a mean face at a toddler they will feel…..bullied.

 It does not matter if the bully is bigger than the victim, smaller than the victim, another race, religion, culture or of another socioeconomic class.  It is still bad in the eyes of the public.   What I find most interesting is that now the NFL is trying to distance itself from the situation.  They have turned to blame the victim.  They are saying if the victim felt threatened he should have stopped the unwanted behaviors.  I guess we can say the same thing to our children.  If you are being bullied, you can do something to stop it.  Remember, the children are watching how we handle situations.  Some people forget that bullying is wrong and society should not tolerate it at any level.  I see some people think that locker room behavior is there to toughen up the athlete.  The toughen-up advice is a cop out for an organization or a parent who does not want to take responsibility for the bully’s behavior.  That is the wrong message to send to  children who are watching the adults behaving badly.   

We also know that someone who exposes bullying can experience backlash from their coming forward.  On the playground the child can become a target for sneak attacks or isolation.  In the workplace it is no different.  A police officer who reports unprofessional behavior can be given the worst or most dangerous beat with no backup.  A teacher can be given a class with severe problems and receive no support from administration.  A nurse can be given a multitude of gravely ill patients, compromising patient care.  The list can go on.  From children to adults can be bullied in many ways.  So far we really don’t know exactly what happened with these two football players.  The details are still foggy.  The ways they, the NFL, are acting, it seems like they have something to hide.  Everybody against the victim makes people suspicious.  Any kind of hazing should not be condoned. Sport’s is a business. It should be look upon and treated as such.  The NFL or any organization should always seek to be professional.  Treat everybody with respect and dignity. Do not tolerate bad behavior and people will not be as willing to behave disrespectfully.  All we can do is watch the situation and hope they work it out quickly.  They have to remember that the children are watching, observing, and learning how the adult world works. 

 

Let’s Hear it for Building Traditions

 

When I was a child we would bake cookies with my mom.  Sometimes we would bake for the holidays, or sometimes just to give us something to do.  We would be so excited as my mom pulled out the baking utensils and ingredients. My sibling and I would start talking about our specific creations.  What would make our cookies different from any other cookie.  Mom was always so organized.   We loved helping out.  She baked from scratch.  I did not know what a treat that was.  She would call us together and each sibling would be assigned a task.  No task was too big or small.  Mom would have a multitude of “baking extras” around so we could be creative.   Sprinkles of different colors and textures, butterscotch or chocolate ships, vanilla, oatmeal, different color raisins, different kinds of nuts, marsh mellows, chopped up fruit, candies you can put in the cookies – all kinds of things.  In the end we could decorate the cookies according to our tastes.  We talked about our creations and if there was anything on our minds, we talked about it then.  Sometimes, the cookies came out funny looking but they always tasted good.  In the end I did not know what was really happening.  We were building traditions.  My brothers and sisters remember these times fondly.  It had a profound effect on us.  It still gives all of us joy to think of those times.  So, next time you have a few minutes do something and start a tradition.  It will keep you together and last forever.

The Future, what Future?

1940’s futuristic picture

2000’s futuristic picture

I was always fascinated by the advertising ads from the 1940’s through the 1960’s. They would show what the future would look like.  Technology was being pushed as one manifestation of mankind’s greatness.  We would have it working for us throughout our lives.  The family unit would be strong and we would be happy.  Now fast forward to the 2000’s.  Look at the news and advertising today.  I see fear being pushed.  I was talking to a group of kindergarten students a few years ago.  We were talking about the planetary bodies.  It was a great conversation at first.  Then one student brought up that she heard the sun will explode and we will all die.  I notice a morbidity creeping into the conversations with kids.  I see on television, radio, magazines, books, and of course the Internet talk about a doomed financial future.   Pollution, GMO’s, ramdom acts of violence, the proclamation that an extensive security systems will keep you safe, getting inoculated against the latest diseases or else.  The vanishing middle class is being pushed in our faces at every turn.   People seem to be getting sicker.  We see geopolitical changes in the world that are a threat to mankind’s future.  Killer weather destroying lives and property.  A government for the people by the people being replaced with government for Wall Street by Wall Street.  The list can go on.  I notice everybody is on edge – even the kids.  Where is all of this coming from?  I really don’t know but I will say someone is benefiting from this fright fest.

It’s important to keep focused on certain beliefs.   No matter what you think, God or the Universe is always in control.  We definitely have more power than we think.  Not just the power of voice but our own personal power.  Now a days, we are allowing the ideas of certain people to inhabit our consciousness.  We have to use our time wisely and prevent these illusions from poisoning our minds.  I know this sound simplistic but we all have to take time to go inside ourselves.  Meditation or prayer whatever you want to call it -try it.  I know for sure that the answers we seek are all inside of us.  The bible says we were wonderfully made.  That is very true.    Humanity is resilient, strong, and we all deserve good things.  Act like it and fight for your freedom to be more than just zombies or robots that just move through life expecting heartache, pain, and confusion.   During the Bus Boycott.  The people in those days believed in their destiny to be treated equally.  It took almost three years but they finally got the freedom they fought for.  They beat a system that was designed against them. Let’s teach out kids to fight for their futures.  Not turning it over to a couple of big mouths with a morbid agenda. Spend quality with your family and inculcate valuable life affirming values.  Don’t be fooled by the illusion of lack.  This earth was created to support life – all life. Pictures provided by Google. 

Sigrid

Feed The Children

As a teacher you observe many things.  I also tutor children and adults.  One issue I would like to address is making sure your child is totally ready for the educational experience.  I notice on many occasions my students come to class very hungry.  In fact, sometimes they are starving.  Some don’t have enough of a snack and others don’t have snacks at all.  First, children who come to class with a snack are ready to learn.  They can focus, participate, and think critically because they are not hungry.  When they are hungry, they can only concentrate on when they will eat their next meal.  Another words, their thinking ability is shot.  It may sound dramatic but I sometime see the hunger biting at them.  They cry a little or push their fists into their stomachs.  They start watching the clock becoming miserable and irritable.  Second, when a child is hungry I find that the lesson is a waste of time.  If your child cannot concentrate on the lesson how will they learn the skills being taught?  Thinking burns a lot of energy. Studies have shown that children with poor nutrition can experience cognitive problems.  Food is one of the factors that fuel the body and mind.

 I have literally heard parents say “wait until after tutoring session and I’ll get you something.”  That is a big mistake.  Usually that happens because the parent is running late and does not want to cheat the child out of tutoring time.     Last, a child who eats nutritious meals will make better food decisions in the future.  We learn our food habits when we are children.  Obesity and diabetes are on the rise with today’s youth.  Helping them learn from the beginning will help them make more informed nutritional choices for their future.  So next time your child is going to tutoring or school, make sure they have a nutritious snack.  It will make the educational experience for child, mom, and teacher a pleasant one.

Sigrid

Several studies have found effects of hunger and poor nutrition on cognitive ability. One such study found that among fourth grade students, those who had the least protein intake in their diets had the lowest achievement scores (ASFSA, 1989).

A laboratory study that involved healthy, well-nourished school-aged children found a negative effect of morning fasting on cognitive performance. A test of the speed and accuracy of response on problem-solving tasks given to children who did or did not eat breakfast found that skipping breakfast had an adverse influence on their performance on the tests (Pollitt et al., 1991).

Children who are hungry or undernourished also have more difficulty fighting infection. Therefore, they are more likely to become sick, miss school, and fall behind in class.

http://ericdigests.org/1994/nutrition.htm

 

 

                                                      Moms and Dads......Relax

This is the time of year when children are going back to school.  A great joy for some and agony for others.  Everybody is nervous about what the new school year will bring.  Teachers thinking about how they will meet the criteria and help the children succeed.  Parents wanting their children to have a successful year and the students hoping to pass all of their classes.  I want to wish everybody a happy and successful new school year and ask the parents to.........relax a little.

If you are stressed out, the kids will feel it and be stressed out.  When you are under duress you cannot perform at your ultimate best.  Try to give the kids balance.  Hard work and some play will help your child have a better attitude when they come back to school.  The education process will not be a boring chore if they have an outlet.  I say this because I cannot believe how many parents keep their kids in school, homework sessions, and then marathon tutoring sessions - back to back.  Their minds need rest and they need to associate with their peers.  This is also a part of the educational process.  Go to the bookstore and let your kids look at some of the books.  Occasionally, a nature drive will do everybody some good.  We want everybody to be able to help with the educational development of the children.  So moms and dads....relax.

 

Follow your Heart

I was listening to a parent talk to his child about her future.  She wanted to be an artist and he wanted her to have a career in technology.  She was dead set against his choice for her.  When she was a little girl, I remember him telling me how artistically gifted she was.  Now all of a sudden it was not good enough.  She tried to explain that she would not be happy with his choice for her.  She could not find anything passionate about his choice.  He argued she will never be out of a job and will make great money.  That was not enough for her.

 I understand her point.  How many people study this and become that?  How many people actually use the degree they worked hard and paid for?  Ask some of your friends and colleagues.  How many use their degrees?  Many do not.  That is sad unless it is by choice.  How many people are miserable in their choice of career er job.  Now it’s only a job because you get up, get dressed, go to work and come home.  Where is the passion?  Most people I know have settled for a job instead of the career they originally wanted.  It is sad.  They look miserable. How about those who have “a job” and a bad attitude.  We see this everywhere.  Think about someone like Vera Wang.  I’m sure she has her bad days but I bet nothing can compare to the fact that she gets up every day doing what she loves to do best.  Joel Osteen the same story.  I actually know people who studied for a career and are working in their chosen industry.  Some are making great money and some are making a decent salary.  Do you know what I notice about these people?  Big money small money did not matter.  They are generally happier than those who compromised.

We compromise for different reasons.   Life circumstances can change in an instant and alter our path.  But let’s not let go of our dreams.  If your career choice is still nagging you, look at your life and see how you can make changes.  You may be surprised.  You may be able to find your way back because of your life and job experiences.  There may be an unconventional path back to your original plan.  Life is short and full of surprises.  Go for it!  Getting back to my original story, I talked to her father and reminded him of what he said years ago.  He agreed.  I told him if she followed her heart the money would follow.  Well now we are in the let’s see phase.  Always strive to follow your heart.  The universe will take care of the rest. 

Sigrid Channer