As competent women, we try to stay on top of things. In our quest to stay organized we “get caught up.” This can cause us to losing sight of the things that are important to us. In this case, I mean spending time with the people that are important to us.
Over the last few years I have found my friends busier than ever before. Some are going back to school, changing jobs or careers, accepting new responsibilities at work, or helping a friend in need. We are now into the 21st century and the changes are coming faster than we can plan around them. We have our technological devices that keep us on track. But, are they really keeping us on track? Or are they allowing more distractions to come between family bonding time. For instance, in the past if we had to work late, we worked late. We came home to families and that would be the end of the day. If the boss called us into the office on an off time we came, did our job, and went home. Now the boss can and will call you at anytime because we have cell phones. While cell phones are extremely convenient, now it makes us totally accessible. People walking around with our Bluetooth literally attached to us. Eyes glued to portable devices not even looking where we are going. Technology affords us these opportunities. These days, I notice people working around the clock. A few years ago, I only saw crowds on the train at rush hour. Now, anytime of the day or night I can expect crowded trains.
The children are also pretty busy. I see little ones up with their parents commuting to school. Because mom and dad are working longer hours, the children are out of the house for long hours. They have soccer practice, tutoring, after school jobs, or spending time with the babysitter. People are also living father apart. In the past, various family members lived relatively close to each other. Now family members live across the country from each other. Sometimes even on a different continent. In the whole grand scheme of things there is nothing wrong with moving to another state or another country. We will miss our family but it is a great experience to live outside your comfort zone. We learn more about others and how resilient we can be. I think it makes the world a more intimate place. Children having responsibilities or interacting with friends can help them become more independent and help them learn how to get along with others. It can also help them become more responsible with their time management skills. Having a demanding schedule can help a family learn how to appreciate the time they have with each other. But we have to make the time to spend with those we love. Life is short and unpredictable. One minute we are here and the next minute we are not.
When I think of my brother and find myself missing him, he died a few years ago, I think of all the time I spent with him. It was never enough. I think of the fights and the times we laughed. We did laugh a lot. He was older and opened up my mind to ideas I never would have pursued if it were not for him. Time cannot be retrieved once it’s gone. Whether you have a child, parent, aunt, grandparent the time spent with that loved one will never be enough. Because of this, I think it is important to be very present when spending time with your loved one. Your mind should not be divided between work, school, and your loved one. My brother was on a mission and I kept asking him to visit so he could disconnect from his mission and visit for a moment. I kept telling myself “when he comes this Fall I will say this, and we will do that.” He died that summer. So much left unsaid between us. So much beauty not shared. And guess what, after he died his mission was taken on by someone else. The work will always be done. They will find someone else to do it. So don’t let anything stop you from spending time with a loved one. Do not stay caught up. Mothers, disconnect from the technology and connect with those who want and need you. Make all of your memories count. No matter what you may think, time is not on your side.
