Sometimes, it really is better to give than to receive

 I like how I feel when I give something to someone and they appreciate it.  Especially if the random act of kindness is unexpected.  I love to see the reaction they give me when they receive an unexpected gift.  If someone asks me for a favor and I can give, I do.  Why Not?  I can never understand what people get out of withholding a favor.  If you have the power to give - just give.   I have a friend right now who is withholding a favor from me because she cannot get anything from it.    Guess what?  All kinds of things are being withheld from her now, as we speak.   Everyone can see it but her.   Sometimes a smile is all that is needed.  Giving does not have to require a monetary obligation. 

I’m not saying to walk around giving compliments and selflessly doing nice things every minute of the hour.  The only point here is sometimes a gesture or kind word will go a long way to help make someone’s day better.

 

Sigrid

 

 

 

Enjoy Summer With The Kids

In summer things tend to be more relaxed.  I think it’s a great time to connect or reconnect with family or friends who we lose contact with throughout the year.  I see some families going on vacation, visiting loved ones, or just enjoying their time with the kids closer to home.  I think that’s great.  But I notice there are other parents who want to help their kids so much they lose sight of what is really important.  Time spent with them.

 Even though it may not seem like it, we don’t have all the time in the world with our kids.  Out time with them is finite.  One minute they are children the next, they are off to college and on with their adult lives.  Some parents are placing their children in day camp, summer school and other activities all summer long.  As far as I am concerned, that is a continuation of the grinding school year. Recently, I questioned a group of third graders and asked them the best time they ever had in life - period.  Every one of them talked about time spent directly with family.  They all talked about specific times spent with family members.   They talked about what made these times special and they spoke about these times fondly.  When they are 100 years old they will never forget the time spent with uncle Joe, Frank, Mike, Nick etc. 

It’s ok to send your child to summer school for academic enrichment or day camp to be with friends but let’s also take time to be with the children. Building memories and creating character.

Moms and Dads - Ain't Misbehavin

Today I witnessed something interesting.  Usually when a child is misbehaving, you will see the parents trying to address the situation in a manner that they hope will minimize the situation.  Sometimes the child gets embarassed and sometimes the parent gets embarassed.  Today I saw a parent out of control and the child embarassed.  A woman was coming to the park to pick up her daughters.  An older sibling was already there and they were waiting for their mother.  The mother came into the park yelling and screaming at a passing car.  They got into a yellling match on the highway and brought it to the park.  When the children saw their mother screaming, they became scared - even the older ones.  They raced over to their mom.  The mom apologized to all the other moms in the park and explained the situation.  Everybody was quite.  The kids were scared and admitted it out loud to each other.  You can tell they were also very embarassed. 

Sometimes unforseen circumstances present itself and we react in an undignified way.  Ok, it happens to all of us.  Unfortunately, sometimes the kids have to witness this.  I guess we have to learn to let somethings go so as not to embarass or scare our loved ones.  Mothers, Dads, next time a stranger acts like a jerk and the kids are near.....try to ignore it.  It can show the kids that it is not always wise to react to someone who is unreasonable or out of control.  The kids can see that there is another way to respond to an unkind or thoughtless act.  Being reactive can get us in a lot of trouble. 

Have You Checked The Children?

One evening I came home and found a group of boys in a group talking quietly and smoking pot.  They were 13-15 years of age.  It was 10:30 at night.  I wondered,  “ where are these parents?”  “Aren’t they  worried about their children?”  When I went upstairs I heard two rounds of gunfire.  The gunfire was powerful and I wondered if the parents thought about where their sons are.  Maybe the parents did not even hear the gunfire.  I hoped the kids were ok but I also thought about why these youngsters were out so late unsupervised and smoking pot in the open courtyard without a care in the world.     

Another evening I saw a very large group of boys and girls, again preteens, smoking pot.  This was a boisterous group.  All I could literally see is a pot filled haze of young people tumbling all over each other and smoking pot.  Some of the boys and girls were hanging all over each other.  Some of the girls were sitting in the boys lap and the boys were rubbing their thighs – preteen kids!  If mom came downstairs and saw this what would be her reaction?  This took me back to a news story I saw about an 11 year old that was fatally shot in a basketball court at 4am.  His mother was, of course, crying.  I wondered how she could let her child stay out so late. 

I am a teacher.  My preteen students come to school tired often enough.  When I ask them why, they say they were “hanging out.”  They admit they are out until 3 or 4 am.  If you really love and care about your child, why are they out until 4am?  What can happen to anyone who is constantly on the street until the wee hours of the morning?  How can your child function in school with so little sleep?  I have found that the children who stay out late and are unsupervised are the students who have the most academic problems.  Who is raising your child?  Being a parent is the most important job I know.  Children do not come with instruction manuals.  One false move and your child can be gone forever.  This is the case no matter what kind of parent you are. No matter how intelligent, what kind of judgement can an inexperienced unsupervised preteen have?  So why increase the odds of endangering your child by letting the streets raise him/her? 

Children need structure, love, and a strong foundation.  They will not get that in the street.  Who will protect your child from the elements in the street.  Nobody will protect or care for your child better than you can.  Being a parent is not a right but a privilege.  Children are not mini adults.  They need to be nurtured, protected, and guided.   I have seen, first hand, how these kids try to make their way in the world.  A world where they are exposed to dangerous adult situations and they have to make decisions based on their limited knowledge of the world.  Unfortunately they are not equipped mentally or emotionally to make a sound decision and they have no adult to help them.  So they make it with their limited knowledge of how the world works.  Then they have to pay a penalty.  These students risk the chance of being caught in the clutches of a predator.  This predator prey’s on a child who is hungry to do what is right but gets caught up with the wrong person who will lead them to a path of despair.

 Others are fortunate enough to find someone who is willing to take the time to help them.  They are the lucky ones.  I have seen these students.  They are hungry to find an adult who will help them navigate life’s tricky waters. Funny, I have seen even “half baked” adults step in and try to help.  A child knows when an adult is sincere.  They will follow this adult because they know at least this person cares about them.  That will go a long way in a child’s life.  An adult with a good heart but not enough life experience is better than nobody.  But, personally, I think the parent is the best person for the job.  Do you know where your kids are?  Your answer should be yes, of course.  These thought are just the first of many to come.  I think this is an important issue we should all get behind.